To Prank A Potter
by la z boy
Summary: In his 7th year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy becomes the temporary guardian of the son of a dead Death Eater.  And together, the two of them set out to make Harry's year a living hell through endless pranks.  Joint fic with me and Thanatos Angelos Girl.
1. An Interesting Year

**A/N: This is a joint fic written by me and Thanatos Angelos Girl. I came up with the initial idea for the fic, but it was the wonderful Thanatos Angelos Girl who helped me shape this story into what it is now. We're both very proud of what we've come up with, and we also hope those of who read this enjoy it just as much. This is going to be fun!**

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><p><strong>Draco POV<strong>

The door of the Headmistress's Office closed louder and more forcefully than I intended it to, but I just chalked that up to the remainder of the pent-up anger that had overcome me during my trek from the Great Hall to here. I mean, who could blame me, considering the oh so pleasant start I had to my day.

Right after breakfast, less than half an hour ago, I had stood up from my usual seat at the Slytherin table to head for my first class of the day. Not three seconds after I had done that, to my horror, my school robes had suddenly been replaced with a bright pink dress. The laughter of every student in the Great Hall still rang in my ears, as did the thought that I now knew what a pain in the ass a dress could be when there was a draft.

But that isn't important. What _is _important is the fact that Potter and Weasley were the ones behind the prank. Maybe Granger too, but I don't know. All I know for certain is that it was Weasley who had had his wand aimed directly at me when I looked up towards the Gryffindor table, and it was Potter who had a smile on his face that clearly said, "Yeah. My idea." Suffice it to say that my attempt to wipe that smile off his bespectacled face caused Professor Flitwick to send me up here with a deduction of 25 points from Slytherin. That was, of course, after my robes had been replaced.

Oh yeah, my 7th year at Hogwarts was _definitely _off to a good start.

Fortunately, Professor McGonagall wasn't in her office at the moment. She must have been off on some Headmistress duty somewhere in the castle or what not. At any rate, it was just me and the vast array of Headmaster portraits, most of whom were still asleep, alone in the office. However, there was really only one that I was interested in talking to right now. So, letting out a soft sigh, I walked over to where Severus Snape's portrait was positioned on the wall.

Ever since I had begun my final year at Hogwarts, which had been delayed due to the Second War, I found that whenever I needed guidance or words of support, Snape's portrait was where I was most welcome. Thankfully, McGonagall seemed to understand that. And from the time that 7th year had begun three weeks ago, I needed that support more often than usual.

You see, the Second War changed me. After seeing firsthand the horrors Dark Wizards are capable of, the prospect of bullying and blood supremacy seemed rather stupid. At least…it did _temporarily. _But, c'mon, could anybody blame me? Near the middle of the summer, I had at least _tried _to square things with Potter. Okay, so maybe it hadn't helped that I greatly insulted his friends and had suspended him upside down from a tree branch using his shoelaces, but that was _after _we'd been having a pretty heated argument. I still don't know how I got out of there without getting cursed. At least, not until now. And so that was the start of Potter's campaign against me.

Maybe I just need to work on my people skills. Then again, my parents _were_ at the start of a year-long jail sentence as a result of our involvement in the War, so some slack could be cut my way.

Anyway, Snape looking down at me brought me back to the present.

"Trouble, Draco?" he asked in a knowing tone. Oh, what do you know? First year flashbacks…

"Yeah," I said in a voice that was somewhere between a grunt and a sigh. "It's just-"

"Another practical joke from Potter?"

I nodded.

"What did he do this time?"

"I'd…rather not say." I think I felt my face burn slightly.

Snape leaned back in the armchair in his portrait. "That would make…how many in three weeks? I must say, Draco, I thought you would've struck back by now. What's stopping you?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but found Snape's question holding my tongue. What _was _holding me back? Maybe I was becoming too soft-hearted.

"Well," Snape continued, "I feel it only prudent to give you some advice. Or perhaps it would be more effective if I _showed _you." Upon my confused look, Snape's eyes traveled to a spot behind me. "Step on the third stone out from the wall opposite you."

Filled with a great deal of curiosity, I turned around to stare at the wall Snape was talking about. From what I could see, all there was to that wall was a great big bookshelf with more portraits above it, and above those were windows through which sunlight was streaming. I'd never been in the Headmaster's Office, so I had no idea of the secrets of it.

"Go on," I heard Snape say behind me.

Still not knowing the purpose of all this, I did as told. I counted to the third stone out from the center of the wall, and stepped on it, partly prepared for…well, I don't know what. However, I was required to jump back as part of the bookcase moved outward in a circular motion, revealing a small area that housed both an assortment of glowing vials and…

"A Penseive," I breathed as I turned back around to face Snape.

"Indeed," Snape confirmed. "Second row from the top, fourth vial over is the vial you want. Minerva still hasn't gotten rid of all my memories yet. And though this one you're about to see is rather…_embarrassing_, it will nonetheless prevent you from making the same mistake I did when I was in your position."

"What are you-" I started, but was cut off by Snape pointing a finger towards the Penseive.

I admit, I still wasn't sure what to make of all this, but I decided to play along anyway.

I stepped up to the Penseive, found the right memory vial, poured the contents into the stone basin and gave Snape one final look before dipping my head through the swirling surface.

The memory I viewed while in the Penseive is still a blur to me, but I remember there being teenage versions of Snape and Potter's father in it, and the main event being teenage Snape hoisted upside down in the air and having his underwear exposed to bunch of laughing students. I was indeed reminded of the dress incident from this morning. The next thing I knew, I was back in McGonagall's office and facing Snape's portrait once again, asking the first question that came to mind.

"Why did you show me this?"

"To help you," replied Snape simply. "Where you are right now, I've been there myself, Draco. And I don't wish to see you suffer the same way I did. So, unless you want to continue being Potter's plaything, fight back. Also, I believe Potter could do with some humility, so make it happen."

I could definitely see Snape's point, and I certainly wanted to get back at Potter, but I just didn't know how. And I voiced that concern to Snape.

"I'm sure you'll think of _something,_" he said in return.

Just then, there came the sound of movement from the other side of the office door. Quickly, I stomped back down on the stone, and by the time the door had fully swung open, the Penseive area had been re-concealed.

Professor McGonagall glided into her office (really, that's what it looked like) and closed the door behind her. She saw me standing not far from her desk and arched an eyebrow.

"Mr. Malfoy? May I help you with something?" In response to my nod, she pressed on. "It's just as well, because there's something I need to discuss with you myself. What brings you here this morning?"

After she motioned towards one of the chairs in front of her desk, I promptly sat down as McGonagall took her own seat behind said desk.

I cleared my throat and did my best to be cordial. Well, as cordial as was possible for me. "The usual, Professor. An attempted fight with Potter and some deducted House points."

McGonagall sighed, rubbing her temples as well. "As much as I understand ongoing student feuds, would it be too much to ask you and Potter to keep yours out of the way of teachers…for our benefit, as well as yours?"

Professor McGonagall was known to have a certain kind of dry humor, I'd just rarely seen firsthand. As a result, how off-guard I had been caught was reflected in my answer. "Er…sure."

"Good. Now, trusting I don't need to broach the subject any further, I'd like to discuss an entirely different matter with you, Mr. Malfoy." She paused, which aroused my curiosity more. "You're familiar with Antonin Dolohov, correct?"

"Y-yes," I said, still unsure of what the subject was. "He is, or rather _was_, a close family friend before he died this past summer while being interrogated by the Ministry."

McGonagall nodded. "Then you should also know that he had a son named Dominic, or Dom, as he likes to be called."

"I've never actually _met _Dom, but I do know of him," I admitted.

"Well, I'm afraid that's about to change."

Again, I found myself confused. "What exactly are you getting at, Professor?"

"Antonin Dolohov was a single parent. His wife died a few years ago, leaving Dom solely in his care. But now, Dom is parentless, seeing as Antonin is now dead as well. Until recently, Antonin's last will and testament couldn't be found. But in it, he named the guardians he wanted for Dom."

_Now _everything was coming into focus, as I was finally able to see where this was going. "Let me guess…he named my family?"

McGonagall nodded. "Yes. But as you can imagine, we're in a bit of a conundrum, since your parents are currently serving time in Azkaban and the will specifically states Antonin wanted _only_ your family to take care of Dom. Therefore, until your parents are released from Azkaban, -"

"_I'll _be taking care of Dom," I finished for her. This day was just getting better and better.

"Yes. We've already made all of the necessary arrangements so that Dom can stay here with you for the duration of the school year. For obvious reasons, he'll have to accompany you to all of your classes. He will primarily be your responsibility, but the rest of the staff and myself will be happy to assist you in any way if you ever require it."

"But…I don't know the first thing about taking care of children!" It was true! "How old is he?"

"He's nine, but will be ten in early December." McGonagall paused, giving me a sympathetic look…I think. "Listen, Draco, all you have to do is make sure he stays out of trouble, follows school rules and enjoys his stay here."

Oh. Was _that _all?

My worry must have shown on my face, because McGonagall said her next words in a consoling tone. "I know it seems like too much to take in right now, but there's no other option. As I said, there are plenty of us to help you, and I'm sure Dom won't give you too much trouble. Now, you can attend your classes as usual today, and during that time I will meet and discuss the arrangements with Dom. He will meet you later tonight in the Slytherin Common Room." McGonagall gave me one of her trademark penetrating stares. "Are you okay with this?"

It took me a while to respond, as I carefully weighed the pros and cons of the situation that had just been dumped in front of me. Did I have what it took to look after a kid? After all, he was nine years old, so it wasn't like he'd be pestering me with endless questions…I hoped. On the other hand, he just lost his father, so he was bound to be pretty mellow…maybe. Plus, he didn't have anywhere else to go, and even if he did, wherever he went wouldn't nearly be as homely and welcoming as Hogwarts. So in the end, Dom being here with me was the best thing for him. And he needed somebody right now. I guess I could be that somebody.

"Yes, Professor," I said at last. In retrospect, those two simple words began what would be quite an interesting year. Those words, along with Snape's pointed stare as I left the office, would also be the start of an interesting year for Potter.

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><p>I met Dom later that night, although I can't say it was a particularly meaningful first meeting. The only words exchanged between us were ones of introductions and basic politeness, and not long after, Dom went up to where he would share sleeping quarters with me. All I learned from that first encounter was that Dom was obviously average height for a nine year-old, with light brown hair, a thin face and eyes that looked as if they could be calm and impassive one moment, yet bright with liveliness and mischief the next.<p>

All in all, I wasn't completely sure of what to expect for the next day.


	2. Devious Decision

**Here's Chapter 2! Thanatos and I hope you enjoy it!**

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><p><strong>Draco POV<strong>

After I'd woken up and gotten dressed the next morning, two things were prevalent in my mind. The first was the fact that I was still the temporary guardian of nine year-old Dom Dolohov. Yesterday certainly wasn't a dream. _That much _was obvious when I entered the Slytherin Common Room to find him dressed for the day as well and patiently waiting in an armchair by the fireplace. Our Common Room was located in the Dungeons, so naturally, that meant that there were no windows. Instead, there were lamps and other sources of light scattered about, most of them green. And in that green light, I had to admit, Dom looked light a natural Slytherin.

Anyway, onto the second thing currently on my mind. And that was what Snape had said to me the day before: "_I don't wish to see you suffer the same way I did._" For most of my time at Hogwarts, I'd always listened to what Snape had to say. Most of the advice I'd received from him before had always turned out to be helpful (I'm of course discounting my entire 6th year when I say that), so maybe it would be beneficial for me to get back to old traditions. Trust me, I had spent a decent amount of time last night thinking over his words before I fell asleep last night, so I considered this a decision not to be made lightly.

I mean, come on, my first five years at Hogwarts had been filled with rivalry between me and Potter. A lot of the time, I seemed to have gotten the better of him, especially during 5th year. So why exactly was I letting him walk all over me now? I don't know, but if there's one thing Draco Malfoy is _not, _it's a pushover.

So it's high time I turn Potter's battle into an all-out war. The only problem was figuring out how to juggle my retaliation with being responsible for Dom. Oh well, I would figure that out later. Listen to me…I'm _already _sounding like a well-to-do guardian. I don't know whether to be impressed with myself, or scared.

"Hey, Dom," I said when I approached the armchair. Dom looked up at me with an expression I couldn't read. "Er, you ready to go to breakfast."

Dom nodded his head. "Sure." He lifted himself from the chair and made for the exit, me right behind him.

"So, um, how long have you been up, exactly?" By now, we had left the Common Room and were close to the steps that led up into the Entrance Hall.

"Since seven o'clock," replied Dom. "I was up before anyone else."

Whoa. I myself had gotten up an hour later, and today was a Friday. On weekends, I allowed myself a bit more of a sleep-in. Hey, I'm a teenager. My internal clock is normally set for much later in the morning. So sue me, I like to sleep late whenever I can. What teenager _doesn't_?

"Um, sorry to keep you waiting, in that case," I said as we made our way into the Entrance Hall. All around us, a few other students were migrating, in some cases hazily so, into the Great Hall. We joined the throng. "I hope you weren't too bored or anything while you were waiting for me." I hadn't seen him sitting with a book or anything.

"No, that's okay. I still found a way to pass the time." Dom's tone when he said that made me curious enough to begin to ask what he meant, but I stopped when we were fully in the Great Hall and he gazed up at the enchanted ceiling in wonder. "Wow…" he breathed in amazement.

I managed to smile just a bit. "Impressive, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I mean, I heard stories about Hogwarts, but this…"

"It kind of takes your breath away," I finished for him, after which he nodded in agreement. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Come on, let's go get a place to sit."

As I began to guide Dom over towards the Slytherin table, I was once again surprised at the kindness and relative good nature I was showing. Then again, Dom _had _just lost his father, so that was reason enough for handling him with kid gloves, no pun intended.

We found an open area at the Slytherin table right around where I usually sat. Ever since the start of 7th year, I had decided to drop the friends I had had before, because they represented the life I was trying to leave behind. Okay, so _maybe _I was sort of going back to a part of that life by deciding to strike back against Potter for his pranks, but…technicalities.

Anyway, so it was me and Dom sitting together. I hadn't yet made any new friends, but I was getting there. I loaded my plate up with food such as scrambled eggs, toast and bacon while Dom opted for cereal and juice.

While we ate, I cast around for various topics of discussion, and none of them really stuck until I finally brought up Quidditch. As it turned out, Dom had the passion for the sport that all Wizarding boys seemed to share, and as we were discussing it, I saw a kind of enlivened spirit in Dom that before now, I didn't even know was _in _him. Seeing Dom so happy and excited like that made me a bit happy myself. Maybe there _was _a chance that this guardian thing would turn out all right, and that this was proof that I was, in fact, changing my ways slightly. Never thought I'd see the day.

But right in the middle of our talk about effective Seeker tactics, Dom's gaze shifted to something across from us. Once his eyes were fixed on whatever he was staring at, they narrowed menacingly.

I followed his gaze to see what exactly had gotten his attention. To my surprise, it was Potter, who was calmly carrying on with his breakfast and a discussion with the Weasleys and Granger.

"Um, Dom?" When Dom didn't respond, I waved my hand up and down in front of his face. "Dom! What's the matter?"

Dom shook his head vigorously, blinked his eyes a few times, and looked back up at me. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing."

I glanced between him and Potter, my skepticism rising. "Are you _sure_?"

Dom nodded without giving a verbal answer. He glanced at his wristwatch, which had a face like a Golden Snitch and two tiny broomsticks for hands to tell the time. I thought it was pretty wicked. "It's almost nine. We'd better get to Charms class."

As Dom got up, I looked over at Potter, only to find that he and the three other parts of his quartet were now gone. I say quartet because Ginny Weasley had come back, despite her being here for her official 7th year last year. But since the War had prevented her from finishing her education, she had opted to come back to do that. And ever since, she and Potter had become the "hot" couple of Hogwarts. Also, I knew that the Slytherins and the Gryffindors took Charms together, but I didn't tell Dom once I caught up with him.

I could sense there was something about Potter that didn't sit easy with Dom, but I wanted to see if I could coax that out of him during class.

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><p>So if I thought Dom was harboring some animosity towards Potter, I could say the same thing about Dom and Professor Flitwick.<p>

"Go about practicing those Flame Charms, and remember to keep your individual flames under control for at least fifteen minutes. I'll observe your progress and correct you, if need be."

Once Professor Flitwick had finished his instructions, Dom muttered in a tone only I could hear: "Lousy, short git!" And _that_, ladies and gentlemen, is what made me suspicious of Dom's feelings. I know…subtle, wasn't it?

As everybody set about conjuring up their blue flames in a specialized plate in front of them, me included, I used the cover of the other students' chatter to start my inquiry.

"Dom, I get the feeling you don't think so highly of Harry Potter." I paused. "Or Professor Flitwick."

Ironically enough, Dom was shooting a nasty glance over to an oblivious Potter, who sat on the opposite side of the classroom. By the way, the Charms classroom had wooden sets of ascending benches pressed against the far right and left walls, serving as the seating arrangements, in case you were wondering.

But back to the important things, my comment to Dom snapped him out of his trance. "What makes you say that?"

I smiled slightly. "Listen, Dom, no guy stares so intensely at another guy like that unless they hate them. Well, there's another reason, but you're way too young for that other option." I gave Dom as friendly a look as I could manage. "Wanna tell me what it is about Potter that gets your wand in a knot?"

Dom glanced around us, almost conspiratorially, before continuing the conversation in somewhat of a whisper. I leaned in closer. "Okay, you're right, I _do _hate him. I've hated him for a few months now, ever since my Dad died."

Whatever I was expecting to hear, it certainly wasn't _that_. I glanced around myself to see that no one else was eavesdropping and made sure that the magical energy from my wand was keeping the flames steady before I broached the subject. "Okay, I'm listening."

Dom glanced down at his hands and flexed his fingers. "It happened back in July, on the 13th. My Dad had cotton captured and arrested not long after the War. We had been running from the Ministry for almost a month. They caught up with us and while my Dad was taken in for interrogation, I was under the watch of a few Aurors. And that's how I first heard about it."

With a feeling of dread, I could tell where this was going when Dom took a dramatic pause.

A few tears slipped down Dom's face. "My Dad died while he was being questioned by the Aurors." He wiped his face with the tip of his sleeve. "Well, actually, it was three Aurors…and one 'sit-in', I guess you could say." He sighed, and looked across the room once more. "The Boy Who Lived himself…Harry Potter."

I exhaled heavily and glanced up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, Dom. Really, I am. And yeah, the Ministry figured the least they could do was allow the person who defeated the Dark Lord to assist with the interrogations of the Death Eaters they rounded up. They figured it would be more effective that way. Pure tripe, if you ask me." At that moment, my gaze shifted briefly to Professor Flitwick, and an image of battle popped into my head…specifically one of Flitwick defeating Antonin Dolohov. "And you don't like Flitwick because he beat your Dad in a fight. The fight that led you two to go on the run in the first place."

Dom nodded silently. And as he did, another thought came into my head.

"Wait. I hope you're not saying that you hate Potter and Flitwick so much that you actually want to…" I let the sentence trail off.

But Dom clearly got the meaning, because his eyes widened in shock. "No, Draco! Honestly!" he hissed. "How could you think that?"

"Sorry," I said, immediately relieved. Then I narrowed my eyes. "But I get the sense that you _are _still planning to do something."

To that, Dom gave me a sly smile.

But before I could delve any deeper, I was interrupted by Flitwick. "And that's time! All of you did extremely well with this lesson, which was to keep your focus during a spell, a very important asset for any witch or wizard."

A good while later, we were out of Charms class and in Transfiguration. Dom hadn't said another word since Charms, but it was in Transfiguration class where I got a certain idea. And that idea involved a way in which I could channel Dom's hatred for Potter into Snape's desire to see me gain the upper hand on Potter. The only question was whether or not I could sell this proposition to Dom. But I think I already knew the answer to that question.

I'd wait until lunch to ask him, though.

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><p><strong>Dom POV<strong>

I had come to Hogwarts with a clear purpose in mind: to strike back against the famous Harry Potter. Flitwick I figured I could let off easy. After all, it was easier to go after a student than it was a Hogwarts professor.

Potter thought he was so special, defeating the Dark Lord and thinking he could bully around Death Eaters as a result. Well, I was going to show him that he wasn't the only one who could bully others…and I was going to show him the hard way. I owed at least that much to my father: to one-up Potter for him. Maybe even one-up him more than once.

I only hoped that Draco would want to help me. Draco seemed pretty cool so far, and I thought it would be nice to have someone to do this with. As well as a good, close friend.

We were currently eating lunch in the Great Hall. Now was a good time to bring it up.

"Hey, Draco, can I ask you something?"

Draco let his fork, which held a dangling piece of meat, stay hanging in front of his face. He looked at me curiously. "Sure, Dom. What's on your mind?"

"You asked me earlier if I wanted to do anything to Potter. Well, the truth is, I do. Don't worry, nothing life-threatening, just something that will make my message clear."

Draco's face lightened up a bit. I took that as a good sign. "I actually might have an idea of my own about that." Really? "Tell you what, why don't we both say our ideas at the same time?" I nodded. That seemed good. "Okay, ready? One, two, three…"

"Pranks," we both said at the same time, which made us both smile and laugh. What a relief! We were both on the same page!

"So, how should we do this?" I asked as I pulled a folded piece of paper out of my pocket. "I mean, I've already got some prank ideas, but I could always use more."

I handed Draco the paper and he read it and smiled devilishly. "These are all great, Dom! But you're right, we could definitely use more. Tonight in the Common Room, we'll come up with more so that we'll have a good number to work with, and therefore more chances to humiliate Potter!"

"I like that!" I said excitedly.

I looked across the Great Hall to Potter for the third time that day. And as I did, the wheels of the prank part of my mind started spinning.

_Good luck, Potter, _I thought gleefully to myself. _You're going to need it._


	3. Let The Games Begin

**Chapter 3**

**Draco POV**

Dom and I spent most of that Friday night together in a corner with quills and parchment, taking absolute delight in planning our slew of pranks that we would pull on Potter. The ones Dom had shown me earlier that day at lunch certainly took me by surprise by how good and devious they were. In fact, they reminded me of the sort of pranks that the Weasley twins would pull during their days at Hogwarts. And from those pranks, I got the impression that Dom was experienced in this particular field.

But that only made me step up my game as we were brainstorming, and I ended up impressing even myself with the prank ideas I came up with. Some of them were so good and funny, in fact, that part of me wasn't sure how we'd be able to pull them off inside Hogwarts. But I had every faith in them, as well as Dom, whom I was really starting to like. Not only did we have some basic interests in common, but we also shared one very big commonality: our distaste for Potter. And we channeled that mutual distaste into our prank creations, because after all, the point of these pranks was to humiliate Potter as much as possible. However, I preferred to think of it more as 'returning the favor.'

During our brainstorming session, if Dom and I ever thought up a prank that was potentially too difficult due to House restrictions, Dom merely brought up the fact that his status as a visitor to Hogwarts granted him access to any of the four House Common Rooms. That would certainly help us out, and all Dom needed to do was coax a Gryffindor easy enough to trick into giving him the location of the Gryffindor Common Room, along with the password. That part may take a while, but hey, at least we were prepared.

When all was said and done, we had made a rather extensive list of pranks, and we fully intended to use every one of them. Our next step was to create a method to our madness. Once the list was made, we went through and decided on an 'order', so to speak. We would start with the more minor ones, then work our way up to the bigger pranks. But some of them would require time and patience to set up.

It was okay, though. Dom and I had enough on the list to keep us occupied until then.

By the time we were finished with our scheming, it was nearly midnight. The Common Room had emptied while we had been busy, but up until now, we had been oblivious to that. We were the only ones left in there.

"Well," I said heavily as I rubbed my eyes in exhaustion. "I think it's time to call it a night, don't you?"

Dom yawned into his fist. His eyes were incredibly droopy. "Yeah." He glanced at the now-completed list. "This is great stuff, Draco! By the time we're through with Potter, he'll wish he'd never been born!" Dom got up and walked over to the archway that led to the Slytherin dorm rooms. He turned around and gave me a look. "Are you coming, Draco?"

"In a minute," I replied. I still had the prank list. Dom's eyes focused on the item in question, and he seemed to understand my subtext, because he smiled, nodded and made his way back to the room we were sharing.

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><p>For just a little while longer, I glanced over everything we had come up with on the list. If you had told me three weeks ago that I'd be preparing an assault of pranks against Harry Potter, I would've either laughed in your face or waved you off like you were a mental person. But if you would've told me that this morning, I would've gladly bought you a Butterbeer and listened intently to what you had to say. My point is, things change, and sometimes they can change faster than you can anticipate.<p>

Somebody should give that advice to Potter.

_In this case, _I thought to myself, _change is good._

The next day was Saturday, which meant that Dom and I had more time to ourselves. After lunch, we had decided to enjoy the beautiful, sunny weather by going outside and continuing the preparations for our new "project." We had claimed a bench beneath one of the trees on the grounds that provided the most shade, and Dom had a book open on his lap, but not just any book. It was called _Hilarious Hexes: Perfect Pranks For The Perfect Victims. _Dom had told me about the book and as luck would have it, the Hogwarts Library carried it. So earlier in the day, I had swung by there and checked it out. Madame Pince had certainly looked surprised to see me checking out a book, and on a Saturday morning, no less. But hey, is there a _rule _or something that says a guy like me can't check out a book from the Library on a Saturday?

I mean, come on, give me _some _credit.

"Okay, I found what I was looking for," said Dom. He turned the book so that I could read from it. The page Dom had open was on trick pills that could be created with anything inside of them. And when I say 'anything,' I mean _an-y-thing_. "Like I thought, we can charm up a pill with itching powder inside it, and put it in his food, along with the other thing."

I nodded, impressed with what I was seeing on the page. "All right, but remember, there's a _specific _area of his body that we want to itch. Can we make that happen with a pill?"

"Oh yeah," said Dom, as if I had asked him if the sky was blue. "As long as we say that as the pill's being created, then the powder will be tailor-made to make only that area itch."

The specificity of Dom's answer made me raise my eyebrows and give a low whistle. I glanced around. Out of all the other students who were spending their day on the grounds, only a few of them were looking briefly in our direction. I knew why, of course. They were obviously thinking, _Why is Draco Malfoy hanging out with a nine year-old? _As long as some of those people weren't Potter, Granger, or the Siblings Weasley, I didn't care if they looked.

I cleared my throat. "Dom, I get the impression that you've done this kind of thing before."

Dom smiled and shrugged. "I've had quite a few babysitters who can confirm that. Because of my Dad's…_job_, we can call it, he was away a lot, so I had to deal with many babysitters. And they were babysitters I did _not _want in place of my Dad. So let's just say I did what I had to so I could try being with my Dad more." He paused, clearly thinking, because his eyes glazed over slightly. "I actually think he would appreciate what we're about to do, because our life was the way it was due to Potter."

The heartfelt sincerity in which Dom talked about pranking people took me a little by surprise. From his words, it was now made clear to me that if Dom ever decided to prank someone, then he had _really _good reasons. At the same time, I sort of felt sorry for him. In fact, more than sort of, I felt sorry for him a lot.

I knew in that instant that I _had _to help Dom prank Potter. He needed me, and in return, I needed him, because I wanted to humiliate Potter, too. I wanted to show him that I had not become a pushover, and that there was still some fight left in me. And pulling pranks on him alongside Dom would help me do that, while also satisfying Dom's desire to honor his father's memory. It seemed we were perfect for friendship.

"We'll get Potter back, Dom," I said reassuringly, even going so far as to place a hand on his left shoulder and squeeze comfortingly. "I know what this means to you."

Dom looked up into my eyes, his brow slightly furrowed. "But what does it mean to _you_?"

My suspicion that Dom was a lot smarter than his age would suggest was only further proven when he said things like that. Between that and the relative ease involved with talking to him, I was beginning to really like Dom.

I gave him my answer: "Well…it means that he'll be reminded that he can't push me around without starting a fight. But this right here is all-out war, only Potter doesn't know it yet."

Dom smirked and went back to his prank book. "Well, he will soon enough."

We spent the remainder of the weekend finalizing our cumulative prank plans, and rather happily at that. And before we knew it, it was Monday.

It was the first day where we would show Hogwarts how to prank a Potter.

The first lesson would be taking place in the Great Hall.

* * *

><p>On Monday morning, Dom and I made sure to wake up early enough so that we would be two of the first ones to enter the Great Hall…which we were. We divided our time between eating our breakfast and keeping enough of our attention on who came through the entrance. With us, we had the necessary items for our double-prank. Granted, it wasn't <em>that <em>hard to conceal two items as small as the ones we had, but it never hurt to be too careful.

Weasley's older brother would probably agree with me there.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Potter and his posse entered the Great Hall.

As the Muggles would say: showtime.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry POV<strong>

All in all, I'd say I was having a _very _good year at Hogwarts so far. I was ignoring the fact that people were still praising me for defeating Voldemort for good a few months ago. Of course, I still had plenty of friends who already liked me well enough without my having that particular honor, but I won't deny how flattering all the friendliness was. But all that really mattered to me was that I had friends who I could also call family.

Ginny and I were dating full-time now, as were Ron and Hermione (about bloody time), and I had never felt more at ease before. I could finally enjoy every precious minute of an academic year at Hogwarts without the threat of Voldemort hanging over my head…which was precisely what I was doing.

Currently, Ginny and I were in the middle of a conversation concerning what we were going to do during the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, which was earlier as part of an effort on Hogwarts' part to attract back more prospective students. And that was valid, considering what had happened here _last _year.

"Why don't we try going to that café you and Cho went to in fifth year?" Ginny asked me, still trying to determine a location for our first actual date of the year.

"Oh, no," I said, waving off the suggestion. "Too many bad memories spring to mind when I think of that place."

"I bet," Ron muttered under his breath, which made Hermione elbow him in the ribs. "Bloody hell, Hermione! What was that for?"

"I think Harry and Ginny should be able to have a relationship without Ginny's older brother making sarcastic comments every five minutes, don't you?" Hermione asked pointedly enough that I was surprised that her words didn't physically stab Ron.

She and Ron shared a sharp glare, but after a few seconds, Ron blanched and said, "Yeah, fair point, I suppose."

Ever since they had officially become a couple, Ron and Hermione's fighting had subsided…_somewhat. _Don't get me wrong, the two of them still fought like in the old days, it was just that Ron now took more dives , which was obviously a reflection of his attempt at maturity, however small it may be.

Suffice it to say, it was a moment of pleasantness between the four of us…one that was abruptly interrupted by an unwelcome guest: Draco Malfoy.

"I'd have to agree," he said with a snide smile on his face.

We all focused our attention on him, with Ginny and I swiveling around.

"Well, nobody _asked _you, Malfoy," I snapped back. After the war, I'd hoped he would change his ways, but as the old saying proclaims, some things never change.

"Not like I care, anyway," Malfoy replied dismissively as he darted his eyes between Ginny and I and Ron and Hermione on the other side of the table. "Just so you know, Potter, you may think that your little pranks on me so far this year have been amusing, but there are those besides me who think otherwise."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked suspiciously.

Malfoy smiled devilishly again. "Oh…you'll find out soon enough."

And with that, he walked back over to the Slytherin table.

"That was…random," commented Hermione after Ginny and I had turned back around.

"You can say _that _again," said Ron. "But to me, it seemed more like a threat than anything else. It might be a good idea to start watching your back, Harry."

"I _told _you those pranks were a bad idea," huffed Hermione as she rolled her eyes.

I was still observing Malfoy as he sat back down at the Slytherin table and resumed his breakfast with a young boy at his side. "Until things start getting suspicious, I'll keep my gaze focused right ahead of me." I scooped up my fork and took my final bites of scrambled eggs. After the last bite was when it happened.

My mouth felt like I had just swallowed a fireball. The taste of pepper (which I could distinguish) was so strong, that I soon began exhaling heavily and wheezing while banging my hand on the table. Obviously, my fit attracted the attention of a few people around me, Ginny, Ron and Hermione included. Not wanting _more _attention, when I screamed from the heat, it was more of a strained wheeze. I could feel my eyes watering furiously.

I saw Hermione conjure up a goblet in the air in front of me, and I hastily took it. I consumed the contents like a person who'd been deprived of water for months, and as a result, whatever I was gulping dribbled all down my front. Once I was done, a quick glance of white all over my black robes told me that it was milk.

I took large breaths as the burning in my mouth had subsided, but was now more of a dull throb.

As one, we all looked at Draco's seat, only to discover it empty.

"You were saying?" asked Ron. He looked right at my face. "Wow, your face right now is the same color as my hair."

I took off my glasses to wipe my eyes. Ginny patted my shoulder comfortingly.

"Are you okay, Harry?" asked Hermione.

"I'll be all right," I said in a very strained voice.

Ron looked at his watch. "Good, because we have to get to Transfiguration class, and soon."

Slowly, I got to my feet and walked with my friends out of the Great Hall and to Transfiguration class. Along the way, Hermione refilled the goblet with milk, which I was grateful for.

* * *

><p><strong>Dom POV<strong>

Prank One accomplished!

Before Draco had distracted Potter and his friends, he'd placed an Invisibility Charm over me and gave me both the strong-acting pepper and the itching powder pill. I had crawled underneath the Gryffindor table and came up in the gap between Potter and his girlfriend, where I had stealthily slipped both items in the remainder of Potter's food.

Seeing Potter's face turn flaming red and then him spill milk all down his front was _totally _worth it! Plus, it was absolutely hilarious!

Draco met me at the door to the Great Hall after the pepper prank. We shared a high five.

"Nice work, Dom! It went perfectly!"

"Well, we still have Phases Two and Three to get through today. I'll go get into position for Phase Two. You know what you have to do on your end, right?

Draco nodded, smiling.

"Okay, then! See you soon!"

We each went in different directions.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry POV<strong>

It was halfway through Transfiguration, and the pepper incident was still on my mind. Oh yeah, Hermione had deduced the cause to be pepper, which made sense. Draco was sitting a few desks behind Ron and me, yet he was giving no indication of accomplishment.

Curious. Very curious.

Anyway, it was halfway through Transfiguration class, like I said, and that's when the day's next "event" took place. I was copying instructions from the board, minding my own business, when suddenly I got a pretty intense itch near my right hip. I scratched it absentmindedly, but then another itch popped up on the inside of my left hip, this one a bit stronger. I scratched that one, only to feel two more come up on my upper legs. It wasn't until about five itching spots each popped up on my butt and close to my, well, that's-not-important that I knew something was up. A whole heap more itches popped into existence all around my waist, or rather, _under_ it.

I stood up so suddenly that my chair toppled over, causing heads to turn my way. But I managed to keep myself from scratching, even though the itches were by now more concentrated in my…private areas.

"Ex-excuse me, Prof…essor McGonagall," I grunted through the prickling, "I have an emergency-ahhh!" (Right there was when about seven more itches sprouted on my butt.)

Professor McGonagall was looking at me like I'd sprouted two extra heads. "Of course, Potter. Go right ahead."

I thankfully sprinted out of the classroom, not bothering to take my books. There was only one route from Transfiguration to the Hospital Wing (which I knew I needed), and I took it. I waited until I was around no other people to scratch my butt, which I did with no reservations while still walking fast.

However, as I was walking through a hallway cross-section, my legs went out from under me and I fell face-first onto the ground. I meant to get up, but the urge to scratch was too overwhelming. So I allowed myself a few moments of butt-scratching bliss.

In hindsight, that wasn't the best idea.

Because a few seconds after I started scratching back there, I heard a fit of furious giggling to my right. Slowly, I looked over to see a group of first-year girls standing there, staring at my current position and laughing into their fists. I dropped my jaw in utter embarrassment and scrambled to my feet.

"I…I…uh," was all that came out of my mouth. Smooth.

The girls continued laughing at me as I hurried the rest of the way to the Hospital Wing, itching all the way.

* * *

><p>"Humiliating events happening to you not once, but twice, within one morning," said Ron later that night when we were all in the Common Room. "Coincidence, much?"<p>

"I did some research, Harry," Hermione spoke up from beside Ron on the couch. Ginny and I were sharing an armchair, me the seat and her, the actual arm. "It either had to be an Itching Jinx or a concentrated pill." She paused thoughtfully. "Possibly a pill mixed in with your food, along with the pepper."

I rubbed my forehead tiredly and leaned forward. "But how could Malfoy have put them in, Hermione? We all had our eyes on him the whole time."

To that, Hermione merely shrugged.

"By the way, how _did _you get rid of the itching, Harry?" Ginny asked curiously.

I glanced briefly at her. "You don't want to know, Gin," I answered evasively. Just the memory of it was embarrassing enough, but at least Madame Pomfrey had let me handle the cure myself.

"You look like you need something to take your mind off things," said Ron. "Here." He reached into his pocket and threw me something. It was a piece of gum. "Got some of this from a few Ravenclaws, who got it from somebody named Dom. It's some new kind of gum, supposed to be quite good."

"Thanks."

I unwrapped the gum and tossed it into my mouth.

"So, how is it?" inquired Ron.

"Not bad, but I love the fruity flavor." The only problem was…it wasn't my voice. The voice that came out of my mouth when I said that was more akin to a chipmunk's.

And it was loud and squeaky enough to attract the attention of everybody in the Common Room.

For the second time that day, my jaw dropped. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?" Although the effect of that phrase was lost in the squeakiness. Ginny, Ron and Hermione, I noticed, couldn't help but chuckle. "Think this is funny, do you?" Seriously, I needed to _shut up!_

Then it hit me. It was the gum, which I promptly spat out.

"Make that three," said Ron after his laughter had subsided.

He was right. Someone had it out for me this year.

* * *

><p><strong>Read and Review, please!<strong>

**Also, I'm going to give my fabulous co-author, and her equally fabulous story Babysitting Little Demons, a shout out. So please check that story out as well!**


	4. Ghost Face

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but here (finally) is Chapter 4. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Draco POV<strong>

If there's one thing any prankster worth their salt will tell you, it's that you have to pace yourself. If you overdo it by pulling too many pranks on your victim within a relatively small timeframe, then not only do you risk running out of energy and motivation, you also risk the chance of your victim becoming _too _suspicious of your identity. Spreading out your pranks also lures your victim into a false sense of security, and thus they put their guard down, presenting you with the perfect opportunity to strike. That's why Dom and I waited almost two weeks to start with our next set of pranks on Potter. But to compensate for that long wait, we decided that that weekend, the first of October, would be jam-packed with our mayhem, but just enough so that it wouldn't seem like too much. It was Friday, and the next day would be the year's first Hogsmeade visit.

If you're thinking to yourself 'Hey, that's earlier than usual," then yes, it is. Here's why: part of Hogwarts' ploy to attract more students back after such a bleak and horrible year was to create more enticing offers for them. Those offers included more Hogsmeade trips throughout the year, the Interhouse Quidditch season starting a few weeks earlier, and even lifting the spells that prevented Muggle electronics from working inside the castle. _All _of those things would come in handy this weekend; Hogsmeade was on Saturday, and the first Quidditch match of the season (Gryffindor vs. Slytherin) was scheduled for Sunday. Talk about making changes, right?

Anyway, as I said, today was Friday, but more specifically it was Friday morning and breakfast had been going for a while. Just like our first prank with the pepper, our next one would be occurring at the same time of day. I know…have Dom and I ever heard of a thing called variety? Well, for one, we determined that breakfast was the _only _time of day what we were planning next could work and also, this wasn't one prank, but _two. _So _there._

Potter and his group were in the general vicinity of the Gryffindor table that they usually populated, right where Dom and I wanted them. And from what I could see, Potter was calm and relaxed and completely unsuspecting.

Good.

"Nice orange," Dom said beside me. I glanced over and noticed that he had bitten into a peeled orange. "Very juicy."

I nudged him playfully and smirked. "Well, that's the point, right?"

He smiled back and nodded at me before he placed the orange on his plate. "So when do you want to do this?"

I checked my watch. "Well, the morning mail is due any minute, so…," I looked up. Just as I did, the usual swarm of owls, each carrying items for various students, swarmed into the Great Hall. "Now."

I put my hand on top of my wand, which I had already strategically and stealthily positioned so that it was laying between a collection of large trays, bowls and plates. But more importantly, it was pointed at a big bowl of fruit that was sitting pretty much right in front of Potter. The fact that he was sitting where he was at the moment only made this that much easier.

With my hand still on my wand, I glanced up at the owls and saw what I wanted to. A brown owl carrying a bold red envelope was heading in Potter's direction, as planned. Smiling, I refocused my attention on Potter.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry POV<strong>

As I put my orange juice back on the table after taking a long sip, I noticed that the morning mail had arrived. Not that I cared, partly because I wasn't expecting anything and partly because I knew not to expect Hedwig anywhere in that flock of owls. That little fact still made me a bit sad, but not as much as it used to.

At any rate, my mind was still partially on the events of early last week. No pranks or nothing out of the ordinary had happened to me since then, but that still didn't make me any less cautious. Granted, right now I was nowhere near as jumpy as I had been last week, however I simply couldn't shake the feeling that something was lurking just around the corner. On the other hand, maybe I _was _just being a tad too paranoid.

Or not. Because not three seconds later, there was a loud sound that was somewhere between a blast and a squelch, and the next thing I knew, my face and torso was covered in fruit juice. After a few moments of coughing and sputtering, I finally removed my pinkish-orange stained glasses from my face and said a cleaning spell. I put them back on and looked around. Ginny, Ron and Hermione were all spotless, which meant the only recipient of the fruit juice blast had been me.

"Bloody hell!" I said aloud. "Are you _kidding _me?" I got out my wand and began wiping the juice off. "Did you see anything?" I asked Ginny.

She shook her head. "We weren't really paying attention to begin with. Besides, with all of the owls flying around, we probably couldn't have seen anything clearly anyway."

"But look who's sitting right behind me," Ron said to me after turning back his head from over his shoulder.

It was Draco Malfoy. But if he _was _the one behind the fruit explosion, it was hard to tell, because he wasn't the only Slytherin laughing at what had happened to me.

Hermione's voice brought me back to my senses. "And look at what's sitting right in front of you, Harry." She herself was gazing at my plate, and I followed her eyes to see that a particular red envelope had been deposited on top of my breakfast. If the color didn't tip me off as to what the envelope was, its shaking gave away that it was indeed a Howler.

But…_who _would send me a Howler? What had I done? My friends' faces were just as confused-looking as mine was bound to be.

"You know the drill, mate," Ron told me as he continued to eye the Howler uncertainly. "You'd better open it and get it over with as soon as you can."

This had all happened so fast that I was still struggling to comprehend it. A few minutes ago, I'd been minding my own business, eating my breakfast without bothering anyone, and now, I'd been sprayed with fruit juice and received a Howler virtually in the blink of an eye.

I took a deep breath and picked up the Howler, proceeding to open it. The moment it was, a booming voice filled the entire Great Hall.

"_HARRY POTTER!" _it yelled. "_HAVE YOU NO DECENCY? HOW DARE YOU NOT GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH ME AFTER THAT NIGHT! WE HIT IT OFF EXTREMELY WELL AND YOU SAID THAT WE WOULD DO IT AGAIN, AND THEN YOU DON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HAPPENED? YOU SAID WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL, THAT I WAS A SPECIAL GIRL, AND THEN YOU JUST HANG ME OUT TO DRY LIKE SOME ROTTEN RAINCOAT! I MEANT WHAT I SAID WHEN I TOLD YOU YOU LOOKED GOOD THAT WAY! IF YOU DON'T CONTACT ME WITHIN THE NEXT FEW DAYS, YOU'LL BE DREADFULLY SORRY!"_

Once the message was finished, the Howler ripped itself apart and the red shreds fluttered back down onto my juice-drenched breakfast. A deathly silence hung in the air for some time, which was finally, and mercifully if you ask me, replaced by intense whispering. Hey, better it be whispering than silence, right?

But anyway, that wasn't my problem. My _real _problem was Ginny, who was looking at me with an arctic cold expression. I hated that look. "Mind explaining just what _that _was all about?"

I glanced from my upset girlfriend to my two other friends. I was absolutely lost, but hey, could you blame me? "No!" I said honestly. "Absolutely not! That Howler…I don't know _who _sent it, but it certainly wasn't any girl I've seen in the last week! Not that I _have _seen any girls in the last week, at least…not in _that _way, mind you-"

"Shut up, Harry," Ron said by way of a mock-cough. I instantly decided to take his advice while Hermione gave Ron one of her signature glares.

Ginny gathered up her things and began walking out of the Great Hall. I looked back down at the rest of my food – wait…_why _was I contemplating eating instead of going after my girlfriend? I really wasn't _that _kind of guy, despite the claims of that Howler.

I picked up my schoolbag and pursued Ginny with the intention of reiterating that little fact to her.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco POV<strong>

Pranking Potter is always a great start to the day, no matter what day it is. Dom and I granted Potter a reprieve for the rest of the day, not because we felt he deserved it, but because our next one needed to take place later that night. Besides, our intention of pretty much placing a question mark over Potter and his Weasel girlfriend had been accomplished this morning.

It was just after dinner, and the two of us were back in our room, going over last-minute details.

"So, even though I helped plan this," Dom was saying, "tell me again how this is going to work?"

"Tonight is one of the select nights throughout the course of the school year that Hogwarts has decided to give its students some 'Muggle forms' of entertainment," I explained. "Tonight is Movie Night. A movie is -"

"A kind of live performance of a story, just filmed with contraptions called cameras," Dom nodded. "I know _that _part. In fact, I've seen a few myself. Some of my past babysitters used to use them as entertainment to try to keep me from torturing them, and I have to say, I liked what I saw of them." Dom paused as he took in my impressed expression. "What I want to know is _how _is Movie Night going to work?"

"Well, from what I hear, various rooms throughout the castle are going to be used to show the movies, and each year group will be watching movies together. The 7th year Gryffindors and Slytherins will be watching a movie together in one of the classrooms."

"Not just _any _movie," Dom winked as he fished around in a bag of his, "the movie the Slytherins have picked out." He held up the box of a movie, the title of which was _Scream_. "It's said to be one of the scariest Muggle movies ever. And if all goes well, we'll use the effect of the movie, as well as Potter's reaction to it, tomorrow in Hogsmeade." From the same bag, he briefly pulled out two pieces of clothing.

"Just like we planned," I smiled. I partially rolled up my sleeve in order to check my watch. "Movie Night's just about to start. We'd better get there now, so we can get the full effect of Potter's reaction."

Dom and I walked out of the dorm room with the movie in Dom's hand. As we did, I subconsciously placed my hand on Dom's back in a half-friendly, half-fatherly gesture.

I know…it surprised me, too.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry POV<strong>

To say that I was paranoid was a bit of an understatement. I was absolutely on-edge.

Oh, it wasn't because Ginny was still upset with me, because she wasn't. She'd calmed down by dinner last night. The reason I was on-edge was Movie Night last night. We had ended up watching something called _Scream, _a Muggle film I was relatively familiar with. I'd seen parts of it years earlier when it had first been released (don't ask me how), and what I'd seen had haunted my nightmares for quite some time. And seeing the movie in full last night had only reawakened those memories, and maybe even strengthened them. My dreams last night had been filled with visions of Ghost Face brandishing his razor-sharp knife at me while chasing me down. Needless to say I hadn't gotten the best of sleeps last night.

I realize how ironic it is that someone like me, who defeated perhaps the darkest wizard of all-time, is afraid of a movie character, but bloody hell, it's a _scary _movie character. That's what movies can do: latch onto your fears and feed on them. And as I walked through the streets of Hogsmeade with Ginny, Ron and Hermione by my side, that was exactly what _Scream _was doing to me.

"Harry? Did you hear me?"

Ginny's voice snapped me out of my reverie. She was staring at me curiously. "What?" I asked.

"I said would you like to go grab a butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry, I was just…distracted, is all."

"By what?" Hermione questioned.

"Well," I began uneasily as we passed Honeydukes, "that movie last night…did it unnerve any of you?"

"Can't say it did," said Ron, scratching his chin idly. "After all, it was just a mohvay."

"_Movie_," Hermione clarified. "It was a work of fiction, Harry. Not real; nothing to get bent out of shape over."

"It's just the _idea _of it all," I said. "A killer with a really big knife -"

I stopped, in both mid-sentence and mid-stride. The reason for that was something had caught my eye; something that…no…could it have been real?

A figure cloaked entirely in black had darted past an opening between two buildings to the right, and it had been directly in my eyeline as I had turned to address Hermione. But that wasn't the weird part. As the figure had run by the opening, it had turned its head so that I could see it; more specifically, so that I could see what its face looked like: a screaming ghost.

_Ghost Face!_

What the bloody hell?

It _couldn't _be! But nevertheless, I advanced toward the small alleyway between the two buildings that comprised the opening between them.

"Harry?" Ginny called after me. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," I called over my shoulder as I turned it to be able to fit through the narrow alleyway. Within seconds, I had emerged on the other side and was now standing in a decadent alleyway with cobwebbed walls and a lot of dust. The hum of chatter from the street on the opposite side was duller over here.

I cautiously walked in the direction I had seen Ghost Face go, noting that up ahead of me, the small, makeshift street I was walking on broke off to the left. Once I noticed that, I guess I should have anticipated what happened next. But it still scared the bloody daylights out of me.

Ghost Face leaped from that sub-street in front of me, a _very _big knife raised above his head, and rather menacingly, at that. The sudden appearance caused a reaction that I simply couldn't help.

I squealed.

Yes, me, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Defeated Voldemort and functioning wizard with a bloody wand, squealed and turned as Ghost Face began to chase me. When I reached the alleyway I first came through, I noticed Ghost Face was still on my back. So I hurried as fast as I could through that alleyway and when I came out on the other side, I ran as fast as I could through the crowd. I didn't care about what Ginny, Ron or Hermione thought as they saw me do that. In fact, I didn't much care what _anyone _thought as I ran as fast as my legs could go in the opposite direction of Ghost Face.

I don't know about you, but despite me having a wand and the benefit of magic on my side, when I see a masked figure running at me with a huge knife, my first instinct is to, oh I don't know, _run!_

But I just _knew _I'd be hearing about this later.


	5. That Icky Feeling

**A/N: Sorry for another long wait, but I promise that this chapter is worth it. ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

**Draco POV**

It was a couple of hours after the incident in Hogsmeade, and Dom and I were _still _laughing our heads off over Potter's reaction to seeing me dressed up as Ghost Face. Hearing him squeal like a little girl and seeing him run as fast as the wind more than made my day. Unfortunately, neither Dom nor I had managed to get another glimpse of him for the rest of the day. I suppose he was locked up in Gryffindor Tower, trying to hide from all the shame. But if he was worried about his image after today's events, it would be nothing compared to image after the next few days. Oh yes, the worst was yet to come, only Potter didn't know it yet.

The more, shall we say, _extreme _pranks that Dom and I had in store for him would begin tomorrow; specifically during the first Quidditch match of the season.

_Oh, Harry, are you in for a surprise, _I thought to myself.

It was currently ten o' clock at night, and I was with Dom alone in my dorm room. I know…a Saturday night and I'm spending it with a young kid rather than my friends? Well, for one, I didn't really have many friends left here at Hogwarts after the Second War. And two, seeing as how Dom and I were engaged in this secret project of ours, I really didn't mind spending most of my free time with Dom.

You know, it was times like these, when Dom's eyes were alight with mischievous glee in relation to all this prank-planning, that I saw a bit of myself in him. Perhaps it was because of that that I felt so obligated to be with him as much as I could. But no, it really was because I liked him and wanted him to have a friend during his stay here. For a kid to be able to make me feel this way, I knew he _had _to be special.

"I think this is going to be our best prank yet, Draco!" Dom exclaimed excitedly as he and I put the finishing touches on what would be the source of all of Potter's trouble in the morning.

Okay, if you just _have _to know what it is I'm talking about, it's a makeshift little doll of Potter that Dom and I had created shortly after returning from Hogsmeade. Now, before the issue of guys playing with dolls comes up, let me say this: no, of course I don't normally do it. The only time you'd catch me with one would be in an instance like this, where dressing up a doll in clothes, like Dom and I were doing, actually served a purpose.

That purpose was to make what Muggles referred to as a 'voodoo doll'. In Muggle lore, a voodoo doll is something one can use to control what happens to the person that the doll represents. Dom had come across something similar in that prank book of his. All it required was a doll that had the likeness of a particular person, and after reciting a simple incantation, whatever happened to the doll happened to that person.

The only difference was that we in the Wizard World didn't have a term as stupid as 'voodoo' to describe it.

"Yeah, I'm particularly proud of this one myself," I said as I took the doll, which had a small head of messy black hair, a drawn-on lightning bolt on the forehead and an outfit that looked just like the Gryffindor Team uniform. It was perfect.

I turned the doll around in my hands to better admire it. "The likeness is uncanny," I remarked in a slightly sarcastic tone. But Dom seemed to catch my little joke, so we both shared another good laugh. I handed the doll back to Dom.

"So do you want to go ahead and discuss things I should do to it during the match?" asked Dom. "Or should I just get creative?"

I smiled with an evil glint in my eye. Don't ask how I knew I had an evil glint…I just knew. "Being creative always trumps being rigid."

Dom nodded to show that he agreed. "Just wait until you see what I do to him."

Oh yes, Potter. Be afraid…be _very _afraid.

"It'll be even better seeing it unfold from right by him. Make sure he's occupied enough so that catching the Snitch is the last thing on his mind." This prank actually had another beneficial application: it would help Slytherin win the match.

Dom smiled a smile that probably would've made Voldemort proud. "Not a problem."

I reached into my pocket to produce a small toy broom. "By the way, you'll need this as well." I quickly performed the required charm on the object so that it would work in the same way as the doll. I tossed it to Dom, who caught it easily.

"Thanks."

"So, have you ever been to a live Quidditch match?"

Dom placed the doll and broom on his bedside table. "Actually, no. I mean, my Dad always used to _promise _that he'd take me to one, but he was so busy, that it never happened. I'm a fan, though, and have always wanted to go to one. So I'm excited about tomorrow."

A thought just occurred to me. I got up and went over to my dresser, where I pulled open one of the middle drawers and removed my green and silver Slytherin scarf. When I handed it to Dom, his eyes once again lit up.

"Here," I said. "Something to help show your spirit."

"Wow! This is great, Draco!" In his excitement, he wrapped the scarf around his neck and dashed over to a mirror to see how he looked. I walked up beside him, grinning.

"Like it?" I asked.

"I _LOVE it!"_

Dom turned around, and he gave me a high-five.

Boy, this kid really _was _growing on me.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry POV<strong>

It was Sunday morning, and I was in the Gryffindor Locker Room, along with the rest of my team. I had just finished giving the usual pre-game speech of encouragement, being Team Captain and all, and the start of the first match was only minutes away.

I was by the entrance/exit to the Locker Room, tightening my gloves. I was still a bit ashamed of what happened to me yesterday in Hogsmeade. After returning from the day's excursion, I had received my fair share of teasing about my running through the streets like my arse was on fire. But I bet anything that if anybody had been in my position, they would've reacted the same way. Well, maybe they would have worked out that it was someone in a costume a bit earlier than I did, but come on, that movie had a bad effect on me when I was younger, so my overreaction _was _justified. Right?

"Hey, mate," said Ron as he came over and clapped me on the shoulder. "Quick word of advice: if you see a cloaked person with a screaming ghost mask out on the field today, just remember…it's an actor, not really the movie character." He snickered.

I punched him in his shoulder. "Shut up."

"Come on, Harry, I'm just doing what friends do: teasing each other about stupid things."

I sighed. That _was _exactly the kind of thing Ron would do. Why did it surprise me? "Well, that better be the last I hear of it. It's quite literally yesterday's news."

"Not to a lot of people…especially the Slytherins."

"Well, us creaming them today should shut them up. Right now, I just want to focus on the match. After that, I'll worry about dealing with my embarrassing moment."

Just then, the gong that signaled the imminent start of the match sounded. As if by reflex, the team all rallied behind me. I looked at them and smiled confidently.

"All right, gang, let's go show Slytherin how it's done!"

* * *

><p>The game had been going on for a good twenty minutes by now, and Gryffindor was in the lead, 140-90. Slytherin was at least putting up a valiant fight, something they admittedly always did when they played against us. Of course, as I said that, they scored another goal, making the score 140-100. Maybe I should keep my mind shut about that as well as my mouth from now on. If we wanted to win by a good margin, then I needed to catch the Snitch pretty damn soon.<p>

As if on cue, a flash of gold dashed right across my field of vision and like a bat out of hell, I took off after it. One stolen glance over my shoulder told me that Malfoy had seen it too.

And so the game was on.

Malfoy and I performed all the basic evasive maneuvers of broom racing, trying our best to get rid of each other. We weaved in and out of a few players, sometimes narrowly missing collisions by mere inches. At one point, I lashed out at Malfoy with my right arm and attempted to push him into one of the stands, but an expertly executed swerve put him back on course effortlessly.

But here's the true testament to how good Malfoy and I were as Quidditch players: during all of this, neither one of us lost track of the Snitch furiously fluttering in front of us. We were both close enough to it that one stretch of the arm would put the golden ball firmly in our grasp…if only we could stop shoving each other out of the way.

Just a few more seconds and I would've had it, too. What prevented me from that was my broom abruptly jerking upwards. To my _great _surprise, I was lifted up until my broomstick and I were hovering smack dab in the center of the pitch, where everyone could see me.

For a moment, I sat there, a bit disoriented, unsure of what to do. I guess my being off-guard only made what happened next worse.

"What the-" I said as my broom suddenly swiveled around so that my back was facing most of the crowd. Here's where it got worse…_much _worse.

As if of its own accord, my red Quidditch robe was shrugged off my shoulders as my arms extended out to allow it to flutter down to the grass. So now I was on my broom in my red shirt and khaki Quidditch pants, along with my boots.

Again, without my mind telling my body to do anything, my butt lifted itself from the broomstick and while still suspended in midair, my arse began to shake rhythmically from side to side, like it was dancing to music that wasn't even playing. Don't ask me how I was able to retain my balance during all this, because I couldn't give you an answer. Pretty soon, I could tell that the cheers of the crowd had turned into laughs…all directed at me, obviously.

"Ow!" Something unseen had spanked me just then.

Mercifully, my bum sat back down on the broomstick. But it didn't end there. Almost immediately after, the broomstick bucked me into the air and I came back down hard on it; three guesses where it hit me.

As I breathed through the pain, some invisible force pushed me onto my front so that I was now lying on the broomstick. Once I was in that position, the broomstick started to roll over and over in midair. It took all of five seconds for me to get dizzy and that's when the spinning thankfully stopped. I registered even more laughing now through my dizziness.

_WHAT _the bloody hell was going on?

But all that was nothing compared to what followed next.

The button and zipper of my pants were coming undone by themselves. No! No! No! No! No!

The broomstick suddenly lurched in such a manner that I had to hold onto it with both hands…while my pants slipped down my dangling legs, exposing my underwear.

It was as if somebody had dosed the stadium with laughing gas, because now the laughter was unbelievably loud.

I heard the commentator, through fits of laughter mind you, declare "MALFOY HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH. SLYTHERIN WINS." That's when my pants pulled themselves back up, I climbed back onto my broom and floated, incredibly embarrassed, down to the ground.

That was it. I needed to find out for certain who was pranking me.

* * *

><p>"I have <em>never <em>been more humiliated in my entire life!"

It was the next day, and I was at the front of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, leaning against the desk. Today was one of the days I would be guest-teaching the class; a luxury that had been offered to me at the beginning of the school year, and one I just had to accept.

Around me were Ron, Hermione and Ginny, who was in a half-protective stance by me. The reason for that was because she had punched out a few people in the corridors who either made snide remarks to me about my underwear or had directed wolf whistles my way. Not only was Ginny my girlfriend, she was also my sometimes-bodyguard. Hey, it came in handy a few times.

"My best guess is that it was the Imperius Curse or some other sort of Controlling Jinx," said Hermione. "After all, there are less _illegal _ways of making someone do whatever you like."

"Yeah, we worked that one out on our own, Hermione," said Ron sarcastically. "Thanks for that illuminating report."

This comment was met with Hermione smacking the back of Ron's head, which made me smile.

"What's really important, though," I cut in, "is that we find whoever's doing this before they do anything _more _embarrassing to me."

Ron, Hermione and Ginny all nodded in agreement.

I looked at the time. It was time for class to begin. "Anyway, we'll talk more after class, all right?"

Ginny gave me a quick peck on the cheek before she followed Ron and Hermione to their seats.

"Okay, everybody, listen up," I announced. Everybody, that being Gryffindor and Slytherin students, quieted down respectfully. I took notice of a young kid sitting beside Malfoy at his desk, but paid it no further mind. "Today, we're going to be studying more in-depth about Defensive Jinxes. And by 'in-depth', I mean that we're actually going to be practicing a few."

That was met with a rumble of excited chatter. I grinned as I walked towards the blackboard and scooped up a piece of chalk to write with.

"I'm going to allow you to use any you want during practice. Any within reason, that is."

I used the chalk to write out "DEFENSIVE JINXES" on the board. Once that was done, I turned back around.

"Any questions before we begin?"

Instead of questions, though, I received snickers. Reflexively, I looked down at my pants…only to discover that they were still up.

"What is it?" I asked.

Ron, wide-eyed, merely pointed behind me, where the blackboard was. Once I saw it, my eyes widened as well.

Where "DEFENSIVE JINXES" once had been were now the words "I HAVE SNITCHES STITCHED INTO MY UNDERWEAR."

Hurriedly, I erased that and rewrote what I had originally put up. But before my very eyes, the words changed to "I SPANK MYSELF WHILE SLEEPING."

"Aaaaargh!" Once more, I erased and rewrote, only to get another joke message: "I HAD TO WEAR GINNY WEASLEY'S UNDERWEAR ONCE." Okay, THAT certainly wasn't true, so I erased it as fast as possible.

"Just…just break up into pairs and start practicing!" I yelled above all the demeaning laughter. I hurried over to the nearest person, which was Hermione, and pulled her over to an open area of the classroom. My face had to have been beet red.

"Practice with me and don't say a word about this, please," I mumbled.

Ron and Ginny, who had partnered up, were staring over at me with concern.

Without another word, Hermione and I began practicing jinxes.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco POV<strong>

"Nice work with the trick chalk, Dom!" I congratulated him silently after we had paired up together and everybody else was busy flinging jinxes at one another.

"Well, it was a good idea on your part to get here early enough to swap them out," he replied. "Now, if you'll just move a little to your left, Draco, I have the next prank to carry out."

I did as I was told. Dom aimed the wand I had given him at Potter, who was preoccupied with Granger. "_Slimus Maximus!_" Dom proclaimed.

A jet of grey light shot out of the wand and not only made contact with Potter, but with Granger as well. Oh, this day was just getting better and better.

Seconds later, the spell had the desired effect.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry POV<strong>

You know that icky feeling that comes with being covered in something extremely messy?

Well, that feeling suddenly overcame me…as did a wave of thick, disgusting green slime. The moment the slime touched my clothes and skin, I felt like I was being weighed down by a heavy and _very _messy shawl. I could also feel the slime penetrating through my layers of clothing.

_Yuck!_

I glanced up to see that Hermione was in the same situation, just as shell-shocked as I was and barely recognizable under the coating of slime, which clung to her clothes and body very tightly. I whirled around to face the class.

"_Who did this?"_

The room remained silent.

Hermione and I simultaneously performed Scourgify on ourselves. Not that did much help, because seconds later, we were assaulted with green slime again…perhaps even more this time.

"Slimus Maximus," Hermione noted with disgust. "It keeps sliming you over a period of twenty-four hours, with even more the next time if you try to clean yourself up."

"Brilliant," I sighed. I was stuck with a Sliming Jinx for twenty-four hours, and on a school day, no less. And it wasn't like I could just walk around covered in slime all day…but I guess I had no choice, did I?

I heard some jokester shout "Scourgify!" at me…just so they could see me get covered in slime again.

"Stop it!" I spat.

Hermione and I looked at each other. We silently decided that we had no other option.

Together, we trudged our slimy selves out of the classroom and made our way to find Professor Flitwick, who hopefully knew of a counter curse. Hopefully.


	6. The Butt of the Prank

**A/N: Again, SOOOO sorry for such the long wait, but here is Chapter 6. And, hey! It's on April Fool's Day! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**Harry POV**

Don't ask me how Hermione and I survived a whole day at Hogwarts while being covered in green slime. Even with it still being fresh in my memory, it was more of a blur of cold disgust and weighted-down clothing. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Professor Flictwick _didn't _know of an effective counter curse to this little spell.

Just our luck.

For the rest of the day, Hermione and I were treated like people who had been infected with some sort of contagious disease. In the rest of our classes, we were forced to sit together at desks rather far-removed from the rest of our classmates, the green slime oozing off from our bodies and onto the wood of the chairs and the desk that we had no choice but to come into contact with. As you can imagine, that made the rather simple task of getting work done more complicated than it should have been. Every time I caught people looking Hermione's and my way, all I could do was bitterly think that all that was missing here was what Muggles called "crime scene tape", so as to better cordon off us, the Swamp Things, from the "citizens".

But one advantage of nobody, not even the professors, disturbing Hermione and me all that much was the fact that it gave the two of us plenty of opportunity to discuss the identity of my prank culprit. Though I suppose it being History of Magic, the classroom equivalent of two glasses of warm milk, helped as well.

"I think we can already assume that whoever is behind this is most likely from Slytherin House," said Hermione. She was still able to take notes from Professor Binns' droll lecture, even with her arm coated in green muck. I had to give my best friend points for determination.

"Yeah," I agreed, not even bothering to try and pick up my own quill. "I've made enough enemies from them, especially recently, that the idea of humiliating me is as exciting as getting an early Christmas present. But who? Malfoy?"

"That'd be _my _first guess, and it makes the most sense. I mean, after all that stuff you and Ron did to him earlier in the school year, whose to say he doesn't want revenge?"

"Well, in that case, answer me this. How was he able to get at me during the Quidditch match? He seemed pretty occupied with catching the Snitch."

A thoughtful silence passed between the two of us, broken only by the monotonous vice of our spectral instructor. Naturally, Hermione was the first one to talk again.

"Unless …"

"What?" I asked. "Unless what?"

Hermione, her skin barely white and more green than anything else, turned to face me fully. Under any other circumstance, the sight would've made me crack a smile. "Unless it's not _just _Malfoy."

It didn't take me long to catch on. "Oh. You're saying he has a partner."

Hermione nodded. "Maybe messing with you during the match was a way to keep you distracted."

"Well, it worked," I muttered darkly, now wanting more than anything to send a Sliming Charm of my own at Malfoy. "All right, so let's assume Malfoy is working with someone on this. Who could it be?"

By now, Hermione had completely abandoned her note-taking. "I don't know. Pretty much all of his Hogwarts friends from before are gone, so it's not exactly like there's anybody he could easily go to for this."

"Well, that just means that we'll have to keep a close eye on him from here on out," I replied. "See if there's anybody he regularly interacts with. Between the four of us," I shot a glance Ron and Ginny's way, "that shouldn't be too hard of a problem."

Hermione silently agreed, and that was that. If Malfoy was indeed behind this, and if he thought he could get away with it so easily, then he clearly had forgotten the number of times we had foiled him in the past.

"But we should make sure he doesn't know we're watching him," I added, to which Hermione gave a look of agreement.

* * *

><p><strong>Dom POV<strong>

With Potter in class at the moment and the effects of the Sliming Charm set to wear off pretty soon, I was on a tight schedule.

The best thing about being a visitor of my capacity to Hogwarts was that I was allowed access to pretty much any place in the castle. If you were clever enough, like me, all it took was the right amount of charm to get you into the places where you being there would raise an eyebrow or two.

So, by turning on said charm, I was able to bribe a mousy First Year into giving me the password into the Gryffindor Common Room. Never underestimate the power that a couple of Wizard Trading Cards held among young kids. I had enough to spare, anyway.

After confidently telling "Scarlet," to the Fat Lady guarding the entrance, I was in Gryffindor Tower in no time.

Once in, I pulled out the toy wand Draco had given me. "The snake is in the Lion's Den," I said clearly into the tip, and repeated the phrase one more time.

"Excellent work," Draco's voice came from the very same spot. We had this toy wand and his linked together by way of a simple spell that caused them to act like what the Muggles called Walkie Talkies. "Proceed as planned."

"On it."

I put the wand away and cautiously approached the person whom we knew would be here at this time. I came up behind her and innocently tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to turn around in her seat.

"Yes?" she asked, her eyes curious. This girl had light brown hair with matching brown eyes. "Who are you?"

"Dom. And you?"

"Maggie." A First Year, just the kind of person I was hoping to run into. "Do you need something?" She looked me up and down. "Do you even go here?"

"No, I'm just a visitor. But I need your help, Maggie."

Maggie's expression turned interested. "Oh? With what?"

"Well …" I began with just the right dose of bashfulness, "do you know Hermione Granger?"

"Yes." The answer was automatic, as was expected after the events of the Second War.

"Great, well, she needs a bit of help. She asked something of me … something rather private and embarrassing. And I think you can help out, too."

"What do you mean?"

I hesitated for a reasonable amount of time. "She was practicing spells with Harry Potter the other day, and got hit with a Sliming Jinx. It's just about to wear off and she'll be able to wear clean clothes again, and she had her best friend Ginny Weasley get a change of clothes for her earlier today. But Ginny forgot to get her, well … _underwear."_

"Ah."

I continued to sell the lie. And rather brilliantly, I might add. "I overheard this just a while ago and thought I could help Hermione out, but the thing is since I'm a boy, I can't get up to the Girls' Dormitories. So …"

"You want me to get her, uh … underwear for you?"

"I told Hermione I'd help, and promised not to look at it a lot. Ginny couldn't do it because she was late for class, and Hermione needs the clothes as soon as possible. Do you know where her room is?"

"I … do," Maggie said hesitantly. "But … are you sure she's okay with this?"

"You'd be doing Hermione a _big _favor and she'd be really grateful." I reached into my pocket and produced a scratch of parchment that had the necessary information on it, courtesy of a Ginny dosed with just a tad of Veritaserum. Oh yeah, did I not mention I did that? "This is where Hermione's stuff is in the room. Pleeease?"

Maggie looked from me to the parchment, clearly in a silent debate with herself. "Oh, all right. If it's for someone as important as Hermione. Wait here." She took the parchment and disappeared up the stairs.

"Looks like we have underwear," I said into the two-way wand, giddy with excitement.

"Excellent!"

I re-hid the wand once Maggie returned. She awkwardly handed me the undergarments of Potter's best friend, which were colored light turquoise.

"Thanks," I said, making a point of putting the underwear in my pocket without looking at it too much. "I'll tell Hermione you were really helpful. Maggie, was it?"

Maggie lit up at the prospect of Hermione thinking of her in such a way. "Yes!"

"Well, thanks again." I gave Maggie a smile and walked out of the Common Room, heading to my next destination: the Gryffindor Team Locker Room.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry POV<strong>

Finally! The 24-hour period for Slimus Maximus was over, and I could be in clean clothes again!

However, I was nowhere near the Gryffindor Common Room at the moment. But I _was _on the grounds outside, because of just having finished Herbology, closer to the Quidditch Pitch, and therefore the Locker Room … where I normally kept a spare change of robes. In other words, that was my salvation.

I told Ron, Hermione and Ginny where I was going and made for there with all haste. All told, I got there in under five minutes.

Without wasting another minute, I hurried over to the showers, stripped off my slimy clothes, and hopped under the warm relief of cleanliness, letting the water rid myself of one of the worst days of my life.

* * *

><p><strong>Dom POV<strong>

From my hiding spot in the Locker Room, I saw Potter race into the showers. Seconds later, there came the sound of running water.

I figured I had maybe a good ten minutes to prepare myself for the next prank. The incantation for the spell Draco and I had discovered was fresh in my mind, but it wasn't exactly one I could practice saying out loud. Why not, you ask? Because the spell in question was designed to turn the butt of the victim into a magnet for, shall we say, pointed objects. Oh, nothing like knives or anything … more like quills and such, along with whatever else came to the prankster's mind. The only catch was that it had to be cast on the bare butt itself, without any pants in the way.

_That part_ I wasn't so keen about, but it said a lot about my dedication that I was there waiting to get a "clear shot" nonetheless. The way I figure it, the butt is one of the best body parts to go after when you're pranking somebody, and I wanted to do more than just glue Potter to a chair. Plus, I'm a kid, and no matter how mature I may act, butt humor still manages to get a few laughs from me.

Don't judge me too much.

The sound of the water stopped and I saw Potter walk out in a red towel from my hiding place. Well, technically, it was more of an Invisibility Charm than a hiding place, but same difference.

It only took a moment for Potter to drop the towel, therefore exposing his backside to me. Without looking too much at his butt, I made sure to get good aim with Draco's spare wand, this one being real, and muttered the spell.

A faint grey light shone briefly around Potter's rear end, without him noticing, before he pulled on his underwear.

Still invisible, I all but raced out of the Locker Room, thinking that if Potter didn't cut back on the desserts, he could possibly give new meaning to the term "bubble butt."

Yuck. I got too good a look at it.

Now, all I had to do was watch the results.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry POV<strong>

The feeling of fresh, slime-free clothes was more than welcome as I made my way back into the castle. With Hermione and I now free of the disgusting green substance, we could turn our attention more fully on discovering Malfoy's partner in crime.

As I came up to the portrait of the Fat Lady to deposit my books and such in my room before dinner, a little kid with a head of dark hair rushed past me and into the Gryffindor Common Room, where he and a group of students entered through the already-open portrait.

I hurried so that I could make it in as well, and the entryway closed right behind me.

I passed a group of Second Years who were gathered around a table and unpacking supplies to do homework with on my way up to my room. Once up there, I set down my books and gave myself a quick once-over in the mirror above my dresser.

"It's good not to look so green," I remarked as I straightened my tie before heading back downstairs.

It happened right after I passed the Second Years again.

Out of nowhere, a sharp, pinching pain erupted on my butt, followed by another, and another. It felt as if many tiny hands were pinching me there.

When I turned around to investigate the source, amidst quite a few hearty chuckles from the Second Years I might add, I saw that my guess wasn't too far off.

Sticking, quite literally, to my butt were four quills. They weren't digging into my flesh exactly, rather, their tips were just held against my butt as if by a layer of glue.

Just to be sure, I felt my butt to see if there _was_ any glue on it. This, of course, got more laughter from the students, but I didn't care. I didn't feel anything there. The quills were just … stuck.

I sighed heavily, before a thought came to me. I quickly looked around the Common Room for that brown-haired boy, but didn't find him.

After a few minutes of humiliation and useless attempts to get the quills off, I gave up and barked, "Stop laughing!" over my shoulder to the Second Years. But as I headed out of the Common Room, they chose not to.

My journey to the Great Hall was an odd one. To avoid any further humiliation, I had to walk sideways the whole way, with my butt facing the wall.

Ron, Hermione and Ginny were waiting for me by the doors to the Great Hall. Hermione was now clean as well.

"I have another problem," I grunted to them, motioning for them to just look behind me, so as to not give any of the passing students a good look at my predicament.

"What the bloody hell?" Ron exclaimed. "Looks like Malfoy's sure been busy."

"Is Professor Flitwick in the Great Hall?" I asked.

"No, not yet," replied Ginny.

"Right, well Ron, you have to come with me to find him and get him to fix this, because they won't come off."

"Er …" Ron gave a longing glance to the food that was being served for dinner. "Okay."

He and I started making our way toward his office as surreptitiously as possible, but before I knew it, I was on the ground along with Ron.

Well, at least the pinching feeling of the quills was gone from my butt. However, they had been replaced with another feeling. The feeling of a hand. No wait, make that two hands.

One of them, I realized, was mine. But the other … was _RON'S!_

_Bloody. Hell! _

And cue the uproar of laughter from the crowd.

"Ron, STOP TOUCHING MY BUTT!"

"I CAN'T! " Ron yelled back with genuine urgency. I could see him visibly struggling. That's when I noticed two things.

The first was that my hand felt just as stuck to my left butt cheek as Ron's did to my right one. And the other was Malfoy looking down at us in triumph from the crowd.

"Well, this is definitely something new for the two of you!" he hooted. "I didn't realize you were so intimate now!"

Kill me now.

The only Weasley whose hands I currently preferred to have on my butt were Ginny's.

"GET IT OFF!" I desperately yelled at Ron.

"I am _TRYING!" _ Ron shouted.

"Wait! Wait!" I said amidst laughs and flashes of cameras. "Let's get up and get out of here!"

"Good idea!"

Awkwardly, Ron and I got to our feet and with faces as red as tomatoes, we did a very weird walk away and up the stairs, neither of our hands shifting from their spots.

Malfoy was dead meat.


End file.
